shitbird -n (shĭtbûrd)

1. A completely useless individual who is unaware of his/her own complete uselessness.

2. A slang term used to describe an unsat Marine.

3. A guy that only hangs out and isn’t cool or trustworthy. His most note-worthy characteristic is that he shamelessly tries to hook up with your ex-girlfriends or your friends’ ex-girlfriends while still trying to be a part of the group. A shitbird is arrogant, stupid, and difficult to shoo off. (see buddyfucker)

Except that Steven Barton isn’t even a respectable shitbird. I can could like, respect, even give my girlfriend to a shit bird that at least had made it through boot camp, become a Marine, and then behaved like a ‘bird.

This guy put on the uniform, pretended to be a Master Gunnery Sergeant, while wearing the Navy Cross, the Bronze Star, the Purple Heart and a chestful of honor that he stole.

His undoing came when, not content to be an enlisted man, he dressed up like a Lt. Colonel and went to a high school reunion. A real Navy officer, suspicious of the rank and the ribbons displayed, posed for a photograph with him, then sent the photo to the FBI. They investigated, and now he has been arrested. Among other things, he had been blogging, claiming the enlisted rank and talking about all the things he’d done and seen.

He could get a year in jail and a $100,000 fine. I doubt that will happen, and it wouldn’t be much of a punishment, anyway. Dropping him off on Parris Island to spend a day with a platoon of Marines that just earned the Eagle, Globe and Anchor might be fun, as long as we got video. Making him work as an orderly in a VA hospital every weekend for 10 years might be justice.

Now, understand, I wasn’t anything special. I was a Sergeant, I worked on airplanes, went on deployments, served 6 years and got an honorable discharge. It was the Cold War, no one was shooting at me. The hardest thing I had to do was go to Japan for 6 months three weeks after my first child was born.

There are Marines out there that earned the honors that Steven Barton stole. There are Master Gunnery Sergeants, and Lt. Colonels, and a few living recipients of the Navy Cross. Twelve of them should be empaneled as the jury.

Dishonor is worse than death.
–Bhagavad Gita


7 thoughts on “Shitbird

  1. There is something seriously wrong with that feller. I am at a loss for words (that I can put here anyway).

  2. If the man is claiming honors won in combat, give him a rifle, 10 rounds, 2 days worth of food.

    Then air drop him into the highest concentration of Al-Qeada or Taliban that we can find.

Comments are closed.